Dating can be terrifying for anyone: meeting new people, putting ones heart (and ego!) on the line, investing time and energy into relationships youre not even sure will work out. But it is especially difficult for those who have been hurt before.
My ex-husband cheated on me several times before we finally got divorced, recalls Emma, 28. I was so afraid to trust someone again. Through online dating, she was able to get to know men at a much slower, more comfortable pace. Wed exchange emails, call each other, until I was personally ready to meet them face to face, she said. I didnt feel rushed to make a decision. I had full control every step of the way. It took her 3 months before she agreed to have lunch with Steve. Theyve been together for 2 years, and theyre already talking about getting married.
Cecille, 25, had never been comfortable about the traditional dating scene. Shes always been shy, and the whole routine of hanging out in the bar and waiting for someone to buy her drinks was never her thing. Besides, Im the kind of girl that prefers reading a book in a quiet coffee shop, she said. Online dating allowed her to meet people in a way that suited her personalityat her laptop, while sipping a cappuccinoand she worded her profile so shed meet the guys who shared her love for reading. In fact, when she read Ben (her current boyfriend)s email, the first thing that caught her attention was that they liked the same authors. You dont get that kind of precision matchmaking in a bar, she laughs.
Greg, 35, enjoys online dating because it puts him on a level playing field. You really get to know people for who they are, he said. He feels in traditional dating the first few dates focus too much on impressing each other, saying the right things, wearing the right clothes. But when you email and chat, what you pay attention to is the persons attitude and personality. You dont have to wait until the fourth or fifth date to discover if you think alike, he said.
On the other hand, Tori, 32, chose online dating because she wanted a little adventure in her life. I live in a small town where youve known everyone since you were a little girl. Its hard to meet anyone new, and if you go on a date, its big gossip the next day. While shes not ready for anything serious, shes enjoying talking to different kinds of people from all around the world. One of the men I really clicked with lives in Spain! she said. Hes so different from anyone Ive ever known, but at the same time, he understands me more than even my family does! Shes planning to take a month off from work to visit him. |
